sara elizabeth’s Neighborhood

I've read a lot of blogs lately. I love reading the friends of friends. there's a voyeuristic quality to those sorts of things. I have a ridiculous interest in people- in the real world i'm a people watcher, i pay attention to the things people say, what they wear, their hair, the way they speak about themselves...and how they change over time. I dont just people watch in coffee shops or libraries, those places dont give you much in the way of complexity (and if they are...it's because they're attention whores). I love people watching in my classes. somedays it's endless attentionwhoring to collegues, friends, and aquaintances. as a student and their colleague it irritates me, as a human it entertains me to no end.

On the internet, i dont have to pay attention to the nuance of real-life interaction, i can just reread an entry on a blog. what amazes me, is how people (including myself) will put intesely personal information on the internet. How they believe their anonymity will somehow prevent them from dealing with any repercussions. I've learned so much about people- not by reading what they say about their lives (well for the most part because it's useless babble)- through their choice of words, topic, their friends' comments, tags, music, mood. Whether or not it's their truer selves because they have the brass to be honest on the interwebs, or it's who they wish they could be- well.. it doesnt matter in my mind, because eitherway that's a part of the person.

so i'm going to start 'blogging' again. i want to improve myself and the way that i think about myself and the world around me. learn something about myself.
neat.

I used to find strength in my writing. It used to offer healing to me as I set out to let go of the feelings within. It used to bring some sort of hope to me, that my writing might speak to someone who reads it. It used to bring me to calmer waters and help me drown the sorrows into words of positivity, gain and affirmation into WHO I WAS.

I wasn't corrupted or bitter or alone or sad. I was FREE. The words I wrote would set me free. I found freedom in between the pages, the words and the emotions I left on those pages.

Find me, freedom. Find me.

1. I've come to realize that my butt: is more like leg-back. mostly leg.

2. I've come to realize that when I talk: it generally doenst end well, and i get the "you're an idiot" look from everyone around me.

3. I've come to realize that, if I love someone (not family): it's okay to be afraid to lose it.

4. I've come to realize that I need: people more than i used to.

5. I've come to realize that I've lost: a lot of the wins i used to have. the stakes are higher now.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when: i dont get enough sleep.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk: i dont want to be.

8. I've come to realize that money: is a fickle mistress.

9. I've come to realize that: my lifestyle is that of isolation and mental exhaustion

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be: cynical.

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on: no one. or anything for that matter.

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried was: not long ago enough

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone is: not used as much as it used to be

14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning: i wish it was earlier.

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night I: it's never early enough

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about: all of the work i haven't done for class tonight.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook: i never leave

19. I've come to realize that today I will: be reading feverishly, sitting in class for three hours, and being exhausted.

20. I've come to realize that tonight I will: be studying forever.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will: be studying some more.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to: have another semester break

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is: no one i know.

24. I've come to realize relationships: (good ones) aren't as passionate as we want them to be.

25. I've come to realize love: is comforting, boring, and steady.

26. I've come to realize my best guy friend(s): lack a little bit of common sense.

27. I've come to realize my best girl friend(s): get me.

28. I've come to realize food: is complicated.

29. I've come to realize, when I'm a girlfriend I: i'm much more patient than i used to be.

30. I've come to realize girls/boys: ?

31. I've come to realize over the summer: i want to be a librarian.

32. I've come to realize heartbreak: teaches you more about yourself than it teaches about relationships or significant others.

If you could perform alongside any artist (actor, dancer, musician, etc.), who would it be, and what would you perform? 
Submitted by Kristin. 

holy crap. i aways think i know the answer to this, always... but when it comes down to it i never do. i'd say matt nathanson, but as funny, charismatic, and passionate he is, he's a diva, and doesn't seem like the kind of guy who could share a stage well unless it's with someone he admires.

I think someone like jason mraz or ben folds. someone fun and not uptight or snobbish, and we play/sing something witty and rhythmically interesting.
If it's an actor it would have to be meryl streep. i love her. i think she's the most talented, gracious, and natural actresses ever. I'd be her daughter in something... because people say i look like her? we have similar noses and tiny mouths = pointy face.. and thin/fine hair.

neat.

What's your alma mater?
Submitted by Lies.

Eastern Michigan University in sweet old yipilipsi, ya'll!

i loved this shit out of undergrad.
the end.

Normal questions, harder answers. You can only answer in song lyrics.

put your itunes on random and answer with lyrics that best fit your answer

1. Your current relationship status: But you've got too much to wear on your sleeves, it has too much to do with me
2. Your first love: And oh it goes to show, i've so much to know
3. Do you believe in love at first sight? And know that if i knew all of the answers, i would not hold them from you
4. Your most recent ex: Unwillingness is meaningless to walk away in vain.
5. Your best friend: Rip away the tears, drink a hope to happy years
6. Sex:  I got a landmine in my bloodline, I'm not immune to getting blown apart.
7. Marriage: Try to be success, please her, please him, buy gifts
8. Life: I've carefully been over the facts, I know you've been cheating and lying
9. Death: Too many politicians and liberal Christians they're all set out for me
10. Your regrets: Yeah, some old fires were burning, you came near to me and you endeared to me
11. High school: I need the chance to be judged, and then long forgotten
12. Your worst enemy: I am the ghost who comes and goes, and I hope I'll catch you, in the throws of one last look at wonder
13. Authority: Make my own rules, bitch call me the mayor
14. Politics: seen so many hard times, just about every place i go
15. Religious stand/ views: See I was broken by the man he kept me down, he kept me cold and penniless
16. Monday: It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
17. Tuesday: We're so helpless, we're slaves to our impulses, we're afraid of our emotions
18. Wednesday: There's a party goin' on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years (omf h8 wednesday!)
19. Thursday: I tried leaving you at home, but every thought returns to you, My head it seems to roam, no matter what I do
20. Friday: I don't wanna hear another I'm sorry for yesterday
21. Saturday: For now you're not here and I'm not there, it's like we're on our own
22. Sunday: Got motion restrained emotion
23. Coffee: Your whole life is ahead of you
24. Tea: Lighted in a room, lanky room Lighted, lighted, laughing in tune
25. Alcohol: Caught up in circles confusion
26. Cigarettes: When you're attracted to the danger, and tasting every flavor, then bring it on and bleed yourself dry
27. Lunch meat: these things will never change
28. Food: Said, hey, come a-running to me, Oh, come a-running to me
29. Color: power is made, by power being taken
30. Anything you'd like to add?

Find some inspiration
Its down deep inside of you
Amend your situation
Your whole life is ahead of you
Your whole life is ahead of you

Put your music player on shuffle.
Post the first 40 songs that come up.
You can repeat artists if you want.
If you have any repeats, skip to the next track.

01. Come Monday - Jimmy Buffett
02. (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love & Understanding - Elvis Costello
03. Click Click - English Beat
04. Mysterious Ways - U2
05. Can't Get Used to Losing You- English Beat
06. Four Women - Nina Simone
07. Volkswagon - Griffin House
08. City Love - John Mayer
09. If I Had It All - Dave Matthews Band
10. Broken - Griffin House
11. Reason To Believe - Dashboard Confessional
12. Officer - Kate Earl
13. Vancouver - Jeff Buckley
14. Sweetness Follows - R.E.M.
15. Still on My Brain - Justin Timberlake
16. All My Life - Foo Fighters
17.  Hackensack - Thelonious Monk
18. What I Got - Sublime
19. Si, C'Etait Hier - Louise Attaque
20. Joking - Indigo Girls
21. Jimi Thing - Dave Matthews Band
22. Across the Sea - Weezer
23. Victoria - John Mayer
24. Under African Skies - Paul Simon
25. Manifest Destiny - Guster
26. Mr. Curiosity - Jason Mraz
27. The Bird - Charlie Parker
28. Your Algebra - The Shins
29. On Green Dolphin Street - Miles Davis
30. Don't Let the Sun Catch You Cryin' -  Louis Jordan
31. Suspended - Matt Nathanson
32. Anytime - My Morning Jacket
33. Cruel - Jeff Buckley & Gary Lucas
34. Because the Night - Bruce Springsteen
35.  Little Perennials - Indigo Girls
36. The world Exploded into Love (cover) - Jason Mraz
37. Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley
38. Anyway- Eliot Morris
39. Dear Boy - Ben Taylor & David Saw
40. Paperback Writer - The Beatles

Questions:
1. Which song do you prefer, #1 or #40? (Come Monday/Paperback Writer)
they're so different... Paperback Writer - The Beatles

2. Have you ever listened to #12 continuously on repeat? (Officer - Kate Earl)
yes, but only 2 or 3 times in a row, it's not my favorite song

3. What album is #26 from? (Mr. Curiosity)
Mr. A-Z... 'cept the version I listen to is a live recording 2+ years before the album was released.
because i rule.

4. What do you think about the artist who did #15? (Justin Timberlake)
His last album was so hyped and was actually pretty terrible. I hoped it would be less lyrically insulting, because his first album was full of hits but this album was more about the production than it was his voice... and his voice is pretty much all he's got talent-wise.

5. Is #19 one of your favorite songs? (Si, C'Etait Hier Louise Attaque)
no. not at all.

6. Who does #38 remind you of? (Anyway - EMo)
Jaime essssss

7. Does #20 have better lyrics or music?(Joking - Indigo Girls)
 I think they almost always have better lyrics than music... they're just that good at writing.

8. Do any of your friends like #3? (Click Click - The English Beat)
none of my friends know it exists. hahah

9. Is #33 from a movie soundtrack?(Cruel - JB & Gary Lucas)
no, dear god no.

10. Is #18 overplayed on the radio?(What I Got - Sublime)
yes. and it's one of only a hand-full on that list that is played on the radio. gross.

11. What does #21 remind you of? (Jimi Thing - Dave Matthews Band)
Growing up, and my brother

12. Which song do you prefer, #5 or #22? (Can't Get Used to Losing You- English Beat/Across the Sea - Weezer)
Cant Get Used to Losing You... hands down!

13. What album is #17 from?(Hackensack - Thelonious Monk)
Criss-Cross

14. When did you first hear #39?(Dear Boy - Ben Taylor & David Saw)
Last year...decemberish

15. When did you first hear #7?(Volkswagon - Griffin House)
November, 3 2006.

16. What genre is #8?(City Love - John Mayer)
itunes calls it rock, i laughed.
guitar singer/songwriter ...pop, except better than radio

17. Do any of your friends like #14?(Sweetness Follows - R.E.M.)
The ones who know it probably do... i'm not sure i know who actually knows it though.

18. What color does #4 remind you of?(Mysterious Ways - U2)
black or red... a combination

19. Have you ever blasted #11 on your stereo?( Reason To Believe - Dashboard Confessional)
indeed i have not, even on my most emo of days

20. What genre is #37?(Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley)
awesome?
rock i suppose.

21. Can you play #13 on any instrument?( Vancouver - Jeff Buckley)
of course. i rock the triangle on the daily

22. What is your favorite lyric from #30?(Don't Let the Sun Catch You Cryin' -  Louis Jordan)
"You can cry, cry, cry
Yes, and baby, you can wail
Beat your head on the pavement
Hey, till the man come,
Land you in jail"

23. What is your favorite lyric from #23?(Victoria - John Mayer)
"Dont know why tori just smiled
Mentioned something about how you were right
Must have been hard to see through the tears she was hiding"

24. Would you recommend #24 to your friends?(Under African Skies - Paul Simon)
everyday of my life.

25. Is #2 a good song to dance to?([What's So Funny 'Bout] Peace, Love & Understanding - Elvis Costello)
sure why not

26. Do you ever hear #16 on the radio?(All My Life - Foo Fighters)
when it first came out, yea

27. Is #32 more of a “nighttime” or “daytime” song?(Anytime - My Morning Jacket)
nighttime

28. Does #36 have any special meaning to you?(The world Exploded into Love (cover) - Jason Mraz)
not particularly. i do like it, though

29. Do any of your friends like #31?(Suspended - Matt Nathanson)
uh Duh! it's matt... even though it's not a nobody favorite, it's better than a lot of what's out there.

30. Is #25 a fast or slow song?(Manifest Destiny - Guster)
it's fast in my mind... but that's not saying a whole lot seeing as i listen to mostly folk-ish music.

31. Is #35 a happy or sad song?(Little Perennials - Indigo Girls)
it's in the middle... i dont really like positive music.

32. What is one of your favorite lyrics from #9?(If I Had It All - Dave Matthews Band)
"Sometimes I feel lost
As I pull you out like strings of memories
Wish I could weave them into you
Then I could figure the whole damn puzzle out"

33. Is #34 better to listen to alone or with friends?(Because the Night - Bruce Springsteen)
both. i love this song.

34. When did you first hear #27?(The Bird - Charlie Parker)
probably as a kid, my dd listened to a lot of jazz.

35. Name 3 other songs by the artist who did #29:(Miles Davis)
Flamenco Sketches
Freddie Freeloader
So What

36. Do you know all the words to #6?(Four Women - Nina Simone)
no

37. Does #28 have better lyrics or music?(Your Algebra - The Shins)
i dont really care for this song.
i think their songs are a good balance... but i dont really la la la love the shins.
 
38. What album is #10 from?(Broken - Griffin House)
Upland

1		Matt Nathanson
2		Jeff Buckley
3		Virginia Coalition
4		Pearl Jam
5		Johnathan Rice
6		Old 97's
7		Guster
8		Jack Johnson
9		The Pretenders
10		Jason Mraz
11		Weezer
12		Dashboard Confessional
13		John Mayer
14		Dave Matthews Band
15		Elvis Costello
16		Paul Simon
17		U2
18		Van Morrison
19		Fiona Apple
20		Ray LaMontagne
21		Counting Crows
22		-M-
23		The English Beat
24		The Beatles
25		R.E.M.

"it's a pity that you bruised my hip, 'cause i'm precious
you shouldn't let your manners slip, you're too precious"

17. What is your favorite song by 8?

"it's all understood"

18. What is your favorite song by 16?

whores.
"diamonds on the soles of her shoes" or "under african skies"
the entirety makes me want to die.

19. How many times have you seen 5 live?

once. he either plays a. on a night i have class, or b. when i have another show

20. What is your favorite album by 12?

eh. a mark, a mission, a brand, a scar. they arent my bff so i'm not particularly attached to any record as whole

21. What is a good memory you have involving 25?

oh hi, american lit sequence, would you like to talk about REM approx constantly? YES, you in fact would.

22. What was the first song you heard by 18?

who knows. tupelo honey?

23. What is your favorite album by 24?

oh christ, who cares?
abbey road... but only for street cred purposes.

24. What was the first song you heard by 14?

ohh...ants marching (as it is the first song on remember two things KTHX!)

25. What is your favorite lyric that 17 have sung?

why would you do that?
"And I must be
An acrobat
To talk like this
And act like that"

holidays have become increasingly more depressing as i've gotten older. gramma has the alzheimer's, the family fights approx constantly, the other side never talks, and everyone leaves town- except me.
this will be thanksgiving #2 i spend alone in the past two years.
oh- i might also point out that i have a ridiculous 20 minute (in)formal presentation the monday after break, and i just happen to be the very absolute first on the list. my professor likes to call this one "show and tell." my ass.
ps. the only reason this is seen as informal: we aren't reading it as a conference paper.
considering it's is, infact, my favorite holiday it's definitely losing steam and might drop below... oh wait i dont have anyother favorite holidays.
i like christmas, the music is fun, and snow is good (although that doesnt seem to be happening lately either), i definitely like trees in the house, and eating. a lot. and since i'm the forever student i always have that three weeks in dec/jan of plentiful slackspace... not that anything related to slackspace could ever be considered plentiful.... except maybe calorie intake.
of course there's always that little snag of the "i'm an atheist" scenario. so celebrating with any fervor isn't "allowed" or "respectful," and it probably isn't "prudent" either.
mostly i just hate explaining the whole it's a pagan holiday with jesus added in for fun, so i can like the holiday if i want to and no they cant be offended- and even if they are i might as well celebrate spending time with family and wearing hideous cosby sweaters to hide that extra 10-20 lbs we all gain in 35 days.
of course we atheist may or may not hate family, tradition and generosity. i can never tell. we also cannot experience love, and we only drink coffee. (those last two are probably almost always true)

so it's odd to think that my first semester of grad school is done in three weeks and it is all hinged on two papers. My assistantship is going rather well, i like my professors. they're nice, i like their research topics, and i'm taking their classes next semester. sometimes my motivation dips and the progress on their research isn't what one would call progress...but it's okay. i'm kinda good at it. i like it.
i wish people were nicer to each other (too much to ask here).
yesterday someone actually admitted that they didnt like a classmate as a person because they didnt like the classmate's opinions (this classmates opinions being no where near awful, offensive, or far-fetched).
who admits that (in so many words).
and who these people are probably my favorite part of why that situation is beyond ridiculous.

i need to pack and go home.

Oh, new blog.  Imagine that. 
I don't seem to have a very good track record with these things.  It's kind of a love/hate relationship.  By that, I mean that I LOVELOVELOVE to blog for about 4.5 days.  And then I hate it.

So, lately I've decided to make a few small changes in my life. 

1.  I'm going back to being a vegetarian.  Well, for the most part.  I am gonna' eat seafood.  A few years ago when I was a vegetarian, I was a STRICT vegetarian.  I threw away the flavoring packet in ramen noodles.  I didn't eat chicken or beef based broths.  I wouldn't even eat a sandwich that was cooked on the same grill as a burger.  This time around, I'm not gonna' be THAT strict.  It becomes routine after a while, but I figure there are only a few simple pleasures in life and well.. life is short.  So, I'm cutting out the basics.  Beef, chicken, turkey, pork.  Not only is it a healthier diet, and a more environmentally friendly diet, but I actually LIKED being a vegetarian.  So, bring it on sushi and tofu!

2.  I'm trying to be more conscious of the environment and the whole "go green" way of life.  Not to a fanatic level, but I am making small changes that I think are making a small difference.  I ordered a recycling container.  The amount of water bottles I throw away on a daily basis is OFF.THE.CHAIN.  I replaced all my cleaning products with Seventh Generation cleaning products.  I'm buying all organic dairy products.  [dude, EVERYONE should be buying organic dairy products.]  I've always liked the quote "We must BE the change we wish to see in the world,"  so I figure.. why not live by it?  Even in small ways.  :]

3.  I'm starting to put away money for Gage's future.  SMALL amounts of money, but money nonetheless.  I am going to try to put between 15-20 dollars per paycheck [b/w 30 and 40 dollars a month] into a piggy bank which will be kept at my mom's house.  [out of sight, out of mind!]  I did the calculations and it adds up to 360-480 dollar a year.  I plan to give him the money on his 18th birthday.  In 16 years he'll have between 5760 and 7680 dollars.  I also plan to throw any money he gets for his birthdays into the bank.  Also, I am saving all my spare change in a separate bank and will be turning that into a coinstar machine at the end of each month.  That money will go into his bank as well.  All in all, he should have near 10 grand when he turns 18.  Not bad for saving just a few dollars a month, huh? 

Bring it on Change!